Review: Decade by Decade
Decade by Decade: Life is Surprisingly Predictable, Maximizing This Phase of Your Life
By: Bobb Biehl
Quoted from Decade by Decade Introduction p. 19
"Relax does not mean I get lazy. Relax does not mean I stop working. Relax does not mean I lose all motivation. It simply means the pressure I feel to perform is dramatically reduced and I can Relax emotionally."
1.) What was the book about?
Decade by Decade is more of a life pamphlet than a full fledged book. It is filled with teachable moments set to the backdrop of life's ‘Decades’ and gives you the opportunity to engage in nostalgia if you have reached and passed the decade you are reading about, gives you hope for your current status if you happen to be reading about your current decade, and finally it gives you a bit of a road map to follow and build upon for the decades ahead of you. The main premise of this book however, is to Relax. Every decade has its underlying area of focus, key in on that area, and let the next decade handle itself.
2.) Do you have a favorite quote from the book?
My favorite quote in Decade by Decade, is more like a favorite passage! In the beginning of the book Mr. Biehl tells ‘The Elephant Story,’ which you can find in various forms on the internet by searching “the Elephant and the Stake.”
In brief, this opening story details how a friend of his has another friend who needs a few hands to help out at his Circus in Tucson. After some convincing, they are in agreement and make their way from LA to Tucson for a hard day of physical labor. During a break he chats with one of the animal trainers, and notices that there is an elephant being contained in place by a small stake. He asked the trainer how it was possible that this small stake was successful against the size of the animal. The trainer stated:
“It's easy when you know two things: elephants really do have great memories, but they really aren’t very smart. When they are babies, we stake them down. They try to tug away from the stake maybe 10,000 times before they realize that they can’t possibly get away. At that point, their ‘elephant memory’ takes over and they remember for the rest of their lives that they can’t get away from the stake.”
While this passage blew my mind, because I know people who are staked in place, the following passage really stuck with me.
“We humans are sometimes like elephants. When we are teenagers someone says, “he’s not very handsome, she’s not very pretty, they’re not very good leaders” and “ZAP” we drive a mental stake into our minds. Often when we become full adults, we are still held back by some inaccurate one-sentence “stake” put in our minds when we were years younger.”
I am sure that you can see how I was drawn into this book fairly early! At the end of this introduction he states, “Let’s pull some stakes together!” I couldn’t have been more ready by the time I’d finished reading that story. We all have a stake, or several, that do not belong in our life...it is high time for us to PULL - THEM - ALL - UP!
3.) What did you like most/least about the book?
This question has a two part answer:
First, reading this book was not easy for me, yes it is small and pretty well structured, but it read like an instruction manual with lots of white space throughout. I found that after reading the book I was still feeling a little ‘unfed’ at the end - like there was another book that should immediately come after it. However, this book was gifted to me by a friend who had read it as part of a teaching at church. So I went to YouTube to see if there was a presentation to go along with it. There is, and I have linked it at the end of this post. Having both, the book and the lecture, helped me to better grasp the concepts despite the layout of the book .
Second, in this book you start with the first decade of life, Children Under 10 - SECURITY, Am I LOVED/SAFE? In this chapter Mr. Biehl defines why he believes the age 9/4th Grade is such a pivotal point in a human’s existence. This age is setting precedence on how we decide our likes, dislikes, and comfort zones that will be the starting point of our independent personalities. This idea of a particular age when we shift, and the research he undertook to make this point, was eye-opening and yet confirming for me. So much so that I sent pictures of this passage to my nieces mom as she is now 8, and is involved in many activities, but also very vocal about what she likes and dislikes. It is very important to LISTEN to the children in your life at this age point. They are really starting to think about and consider some pretty heavy things for their age, and are not yet ‘staked’ too firmly to negativity.
4.) What feelings did this book evoke in you?
This book allowed me to see myself and self-reflect on the decades I have experienced, to see where my mind was during those decades, as well as to tell myself to chill out. In my late 20s early 30s I was completely frustrated with my life trajectory because I had been medically discharged from the military at 27. This took a toll on me, as I knew no other way of living having started basic training at 18. I now understand that my current path is where I should be in my 40s, and in many ways, I am further ahead in this decade than I should be based on the text.
As a caveat I would add that most inner-city youth have aged faster than our counterparts, and therefore we may be a little further ahead of the thinking and experiences noted in this book. We may have also skipped some key areas due to a lack of direction. Still, the books intentions provide the necessary structure for understanding where we are headed and why.
5.) If you could ask the author one question, what would it be?
In Chapter 5 - The Forties, Mr. Biehl states that he has asked himself and 500+ others the following question: “If I could do anything I wanted, If I had all the time, money, staff, education I needed, and God told me, “You have committed your ways to me … you are free to choose” If I knew for certain I couldn’t fail, what would I do?”
I would ask Mr. Biehl to break down those 500+ individuals by their cultural, economic and demographic backgrounds and give a talk on how this question was responded to by the participants based on these categories. It would be very interesting to see how such a bighearted question would be responded to by a physically and financially diverse group. I think the answers, regardless of the wide open parameters (all the time, money, staff and education you needed), would show just how many of us are still staked in place by something in our past.
Additional Resources:
Here are three YouTube videos of Bobb Biehl teaching the concepts of his book.
*Forum of Christian Leaders Online, Decade by Decade: https://youtu.be/NExhsXz4b9g
*Stronger Families, The Power of the 4th Grade to Your Child’s Future -
*EdTalks, How to live an Outstanding Life: https://youtu.be/AlJ2VEK4EIw
*Authors website www.bobbbiehl.com
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